2013: A Year in Review

Well, with 2013 officially over after today, I thought it might be time to look back at the past 365 days. Rather than doing this with a search engine ablaze, I’m reviewing this year… Without Google! *gasp* I know, right? Hmm, it takes a lot of work to remember all of the events of 2013 without Google, so some of these might be a little off… or at least askew.

  • Russia bans the show Queer Eye for the Ex-KGB Spy, after a dismal fall season premiere. Or something.
  • Rob Ford, great grand cousin of Henry Ford, reveals that Canadians are really nice because they smoke crack. This was said while he was high on crack, so validity might be off.
  • Edward Snowden was banned from US servers when it was revealed that he was gold farming in WoW and using a modded Xbox in CoD.  Not sure what that Twilight chick ever saw in him.
  • Jennifer Lawrence took over Hollywood through a Kickstarter campaign started by her fans. She is currently set to start her one woman show of 2001: A Space Oddessy: The Musical on Broadway next month.
  • Several books and half books were made into movies, proving once again that Hollywood knows how to make money. On a related note, Amazon Kindle Direct to Film, is set to start in 2014.
  • Search engine Bing decided to create an incentive program to encourage people to use Bing at least a couple times a day. For more details, Google “Bing Rewards.”
  • Community started its 5th season, bringing it closer to its mantra of “six seasons and a movie.” Godspeed, Community.
  • Firefly fans, tired of ridicule and not getting enough Nathan Fillion (Castle just isn’t enough), have started their own space program and have scheduled a mission to Mars. When asked about it, lead astronaut replied, “I aim to misbehave.” Any further attempt to communicate was met with more Firefly quotes.
  • Stephen King, working with scientists and other nerdy types, managed to trap the Westboro Baptist Church under a dome. A rainbow was painted over the entire surface of the dome, because, well… why not?
  • Kim Kardashian and Kayne West gave brith to North West and South West. One is a baby, the other is Kayne’s ego.
  • In sad news, Will Farrel is still making movies.
  • A government website caused the entire government to shut down, leading to several Mad Hatters. The system is still acting up. Leading IT experts recommend turning it off then on again.
  • Microsoft and Sony both released new game consoles. Eventually, they plan to also release games for these consoles.
  • Nintendo, taking a page from Apple, decided to skip the new console thing and just release the WiiU. Much like the iPhone 4 and 4S, there is no difference.
  • Wall Street finally got on Twitter. They still seem to think that it’s for buying and selling stocks.
  • Instagram released a video sharing function to compete with Vine. However, Vine is 6 seconds while Instagram’s is 15 seconds, making Instagram’s video feature “lame.” Vine is set to be replaced in early 2014 by Boop! A video sharing app that only gives you 2 seconds of video.

Okay, that’s all I can remember of the world on a whole for 2013, my life was a bit simpler. My wife, Emlyn Chand, and I made a bet about the outcome of the Superbowl. As a result, we had our first baby, Phoenix, this year. My first two books were also released (The Persnickety Princess and Natalie the Not-So-Nasty). I also got glasses, ten years after I needed them, because I’m stubborn.

So what’s in store for 2014? Well, you’ll just have to keep checking back to find out. 😉

Mr. Storm

Wearing his geek badge with pride, Falcon can't get enough video games, comics, or movies, which is probably why he writes Science Fiction and Fantasy with his own quirky twists.