Like something out of Scheherazade, the phrase Open Sesame! has brought various denizens of another world charging into my life… Or more specifically, my living room. I speak, of course, of Sesame Street.
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t one of those overly sheltered kids that never ventured over to 123 Sesame St. No, I was quite familiar with Big Bird and Company, so far as even being the proud owner of the book series. (My favorite, which I now have for Phoenix, was the Monster at the end of this Book.)
I actually thought I had more time. Sesame Street should have at least waited until she was over 6 months old. But no. My wife and I did the unthinkable. We opened Pandora’s Box, or in this case, Elmo’s Box, way too early. Once that first muppet is loose, there’s no closing that box. Sesame Street can’t go away. It’s like a fuzzy and blue hand reaches from the TV and gives your kid a hypodermic needle filled with PBS and sunshine.
At that point, there’s no use fighting, no use trying to get your kid to like simple stuff again. From that point on, at least until Sesame Street becomes “baby stuff,” you’re stuck with that particular elephant, or Snuffalupagus, in the room.
Why that expression? Well, once in your life, you can’t use the words Sesame or Street in regular conversation without having to put on episodes or movies or music from those technicolor terrors. I made the mistake of talking about sesame chicken and next thing I know, we’re stuck listening to at least six songs about sheep and cookies and Elmo singing a vaguely sexual song from the Beatles. (Seriously, look at the lyrics to Drive My Car, what are they thinking? It’s almost as bad as Oscar the Grouch mentioning that he loves a rusty trombone in one song.) As a kid you’re able to endure and even enjoy repeating the same stuff over and over and over again, but as an adult? As an adult, you start to wear out before the second play through of a song you’ve heard multiple times already. For me this would be “C” is for Cookie, as it is the one song that must be played in order to get Phoenix calm.
So take this as a warning. Do. Not. Open. That. Box. Sesame Street is not to be trifled with. Muppets should be used in moderation. Disregard this at your own peril. You have been warned. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to sing Elmo’s Song, doing impressions of all three singers. (In my youth I discovered a talent for voices that I will probably mention in another post)
This post brought to you by the letter E, for exhausted…