Watch your BLEEP-ing mouth

So, one of the things that I hadn’t quite realized before I had kids was that I needed to watch my mouth. Well, that’s not entirely true. I knew I had to cut back on the swearing. And by cut back, I mean I needed to dial it waaaaaaay down. (You know the old stereotype about the military and swearing? Well, it’s a stereotype for a reason, and I was only in the Marine Corps for three months before my shoulder got me tossed out.)

I cut back on the swearing, treating my new daughter like one of my religious in-laws, but it was other words I had to watch out for. Like my overuse of the N-word. Whoa! Stop right there, not THAT N-word! I mean N-A-P. The toddler equivalent of dropping the F-Bomb.

It starts out fine because let’s face it, kids don’t pop out understanding English. (Although it sounds sometimes like they might be speaking a primitive version of French, a lot of vowels and no word separation.) But at some point they start to pick out certain words, kinda like when your dog learns what a trip to the V-E-T means. (Yes, I’m spelling it, even here. My dogs are pretty smart and I think they might be subscribed to my blog. I just don’t want to freak them out.)

Yes, the moment your kid knows the N-Word, you’ve really got to watch what you say. Much like the other N-Word, dropping a random N can trigger a lot of emotion and violence. Before you know it, feelings are hurt, tears are shed and your kid spends the rest of the day grumpy from lack of a NAP.

Oh crap, my daughter heard that. I don’t know how, but she heard that. Well, like I said, watch your fsking mouth. I’ve got to go deal with the fallout of the N-Word.

Mr. Storm

Wearing his geek badge with pride, Falcon can't get enough video games, comics, or movies, which is probably why he writes Science Fiction and Fantasy with his own quirky twists.