Watch your BLEEP-ing mouth
So, one of the things that I hadn’t quite realized before I had kids was that I needed to watch my mouth. Well, that’s not entirely true. I knew I had to cut back on the swearing. And by cut back, I mean I needed to dial it waaaaaaay down. (You know the old stereotype about the military and swearing? Well, it’s a stereotype for a reason, and I was only in the Marine Corps for three months before my shoulder got me tossed out.)
I cut back on the swearing, treating my new daughter like one of my religious in-laws, but it was other words I had to watch out for. Like my overuse of the N-word. Whoa! Stop right there, not THAT N-word! I mean N-A-P. The toddler equivalent of dropping the F-Bomb.
It starts out fine because let’s face it, kids don’t pop out understanding English. (Although it sounds sometimes like they might be speaking a primitive version of French, a lot of vowels and no word separation.) But at some point they start to pick out certain words, kinda like when your dog learns what a trip to the V-E-T means. (Yes, I’m spelling it, even here. My dogs are pretty smart and I think they might be subscribed to my blog. I just don’t want to freak them out.)
Yes, the moment your kid knows the N-Word, you’ve really got to watch what you say. Much like the other N-Word, dropping a random N can trigger a lot of emotion and violence. Before you know it, feelings are hurt, tears are shed and your kid spends the rest of the day grumpy from lack of a NAP.
Oh crap, my daughter heard that. I don’t know how, but she heard that. Well, like I said, watch your fsking mouth. I’ve got to go deal with the fallout of the N-Word.